Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize