i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
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If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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