Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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