Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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