Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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