what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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