perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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