Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
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i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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