I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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