worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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