i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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