i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize