I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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