I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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