I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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