Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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