He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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