i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
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Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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