I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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