dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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