I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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