$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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