thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize