I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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