i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
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I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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