He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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