did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Randomize