i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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