ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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