you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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