Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize