I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize