yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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