I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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