no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize