So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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