the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize