Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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