i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize