I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
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CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
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WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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