Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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