It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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