Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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