someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize