If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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