I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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