he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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