I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
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80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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