I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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