I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize